We hear so much about what men and women want in a partner. Certainly, physical attraction is important, but you may be surprised how it is in today’s world. As a New York City Matchmaker, for 15 years, I have met all kinds but today things are different. Let’s go through 7 truths about what men want in a woman today.

1. Men are visual. They fall in love with their eyes FIRST. It’s true; men are the most superficial people out there. Women are much more flexible when it comes to looks. Men are blinded by the physical, so badly at first, it’s literally all they see. They overlook many aspects, which may be detrimental to their relationship, and they undervalue qualities that are good for them; the things they should be looking for go out the window. But this is only temporary. Looks only go so far. After a while, men want more. They realize there is no future potential in attraction alone.

2. Men want brains. Any smart man wants a smart woman. Someone who is intelligent and strong, who has an opinion of her own, even if it differs from his. They like to be mentally challenged and stimulated. They want to be taught something new. To be inspired and to see the world from a different perspective sometimes. They appreciate someone who is intellectually curious, worldly and aware. Men are just as turned on by brains as they are by beauty. Even more so, because a mental connection can never be fleeting.

3. Men love independent women. Contrary to what many believe, men these days are actively seeking women who are self-sufficient, not dependent. They admire and respect a hard-working woman who can contribute to the partnership on many levels, including financially. They are looking for an equal, not a child to take care of. Even though they are perfectly willing to accommodate their old-fashioned roles as providers for their families, they appreciate a woman’s ability to add to the team, take care of the family they may ultimately have as well as make important life decisions together. They want someone who can support them too, on multiple levels.

4. Men need to feel needed. This may sound like a contradiction to truth number 3, but it’s true. Men want to take care of the people they love and like to feel appreciated for it. It boosts their “machismo” and makes them feel good. So why not contribute to making the man you love feel good by allowing him to do things for you. Can’t hurt. Give your man a project every now and then; let him open the pickle jar, even if you’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself.

5. Men appreciate open communication. The last thing they want to do is assume the responsibility of a mind reader, because they’re far from it. In fact, even when things seem obvious, they usually still need a clear and concise breakdown. The minds of men and women are different. As a woman you must understand this. If you want to make your life easier make it easier for your man to understand what you want and need by telling him. Give him the direction he needs to make you happy. Remember, being happy is a common and shared goal.

6. Men like when you stay sexy. This may vary in perspective but it’s important you maintain good physical intimacy within your relationship. Don’t lose yourself in complacency. It’s very easy to get comfortable in your relationship and routine. Switch things up in bed, make the first move sometimes to initiate sex, do something different together, be open about your desires and needs in the bedroom. Don’t always lounge around in your sweats. Wear cute/sexy sleepwear or comfy clothes like leggings. Men love leggings. Cook dinner in lingerie every now and then. Get creative to keep the sexy spark alive.

7. Men like manners. Be a kind person and nice to your servers and people around you. They prefer warmhearted women who are tough when they need to be but have a kind interior. It’s a turn off when women have an entitled, angry air about them. Being kind and respectful will win a man over.

There are more things I could say but these are the important 7 truths about what men want in a woman today.