There are many reasons why a relationship may not work but there only a few that are pretty good signs its not going to work. As a NYC matchmaker and dating expert for 15 year here are 5 signs that your relationship in not going to last.
1. Settling For Committed Relationship
People often get to a certain age and feel the pressure of time and societal expectations, so, they end up settling down with the next person they are with because that person may fill in most of the boxes on their check list and they think it’s the right thing to do, whether they are in love or not. Choosing to dismiss what the heart really wants and neglecting to feel the actual way you desire to feel about someone (at least initially) can and will most likely come back to bite you. Lacking the feeling of truly being in love will most likely end up in resentment and an overall unhappy relationship.
2. Not enough in common
This happens all the time. People may get caught up in the way they feel about one another, how great their sexual chemistry is or liking certain things about someone, but over all there is not enough common ground to hold the fort together. Opposites attract but they typically don’t last. Differences can be a good and necessary thing if they are bringing something positive to one another and adding to the relationship but if you are two completely different people with entirely different upbringings, values and lifestyle expectations, chances are it won’t work. You will either always be trying to conform to each others way or you or you will get tired of never being on the same page.
3. Don’t communicate well or at all
People communicate differently. In order to survive in any relationship, you must learn how to adjust to each others way of communicating. Just because something is said does not mean it’s heard, and just because something is heard does not mean it’s understood. People interpret things differently and respond to things differently. Some use actions to express themselves, or say sorry, some use words. You must work on understanding each other and your partners communication style to properly get through to them.
4. Don’t make time for each other
When work and everything else becomes more of a priority than your relationship/significant other than you are doomed. Don’t expect a person to just always be there. If you neglect your partner long enough it will take a toll on them emotionally and it is hard to come back from that.
5. One person is too codependent on the other
You must be happy and secure with yourself to have a successful relationship with someone, not too codependent on each other. If you rely solely on them to feel “complete” and “happy” you will not only be putting unrealistic responsibilities and expectations on your partner but you will push your partner away. You must be comfortable with yourself and know yourself well before forming a life long partnership with someone else. Have your own set of friends and hobbies, interests, career, etc. This is one way you can both add to each other’s lives and be with each other because you want to be, not because you have too.
If you are giving some second thoughts to your relationship, then think about these 5 signs that your relationship in not going to last and see.