Another year, another resolution. If you’re single for the holidays yet again, setting intentions for a better year in love may seem futile. But it’s the exact opposite. Here are 5 dating resolutions with impact as written in the CT Post

Can you think of a more advantageous way to kick-start the change you need and give yourself a healthy push toward finding that special someone? Your first resolution should be making this a resolution.

So, repeat after me:

“I will drop by baggage.” In order to be ready and available emotionally, you must get rid of anything toxic. Cleanse yourself from useless old flames and the damage they’ve caused. Start fresh with a clear mind and open heart. Don’t bring any negative thoughts or feelings into your new dating experiences. Be careful not to judge or punish new potential suitors for what happened in the past or the mistakes others made. Don’t kill the vibe. Forgive yourself and whoever did you wrong, let go of the past so you can move on to bigger and better.

“I will get off my butt.” Most people make a promise to lose weight and get in shape; it’s probably the most popular resolution in existence. Why not make that same obligation to yourself with respect to your love life? Think of dating as exercise; you don’t always enjoy it, sometimes you have to push yourself to do it, but you know it will get you the results you want faster. If you come home from work every night and sit on your couch, you won’t meet anyone. You have to put yourself out there to put yourself into a relationship. There are plenty of ways to do this.

Get online (you can do this from your couch) and actually meet the people you have matched with. Pen pals add zero value to your life.

Go out more, whether it’s alone or with friends. If you’re solo, you can sit at a restaurant bar and have dinner or go to a show, a party or event; it’s usually even easier to meet people when you’re by yourself. Don’t let intimidation stop you. If you’re out with friends, don’t stay huddled in a corner. Be social, talk to people. Tell everyone you know you’re single and looking; you never know who they can to introduce you to.

Expand your social circles. Joining a club or organization is a great way to meet new friends and potential love interests. New friends can lead to new dating opportunities, as well as provide a crew to go out with. Whether it’s a cooking workshop, dance classes, a running club or other activity of your choice, do it! No more excuses.

“I will be myself.” You know how you act and feel when you’re with your closest friend? When you’re not even thinking about what you should say or do or whether they like you or not? When you just are who you are and they love you for it, quirks and all? Well, you need to do that when you’re dating. It may seem easier said than done, but if you realize being exactly who you are is what makes you most likable, you will become irresistible to others, as well. To take the pressure off, prep yourself before the date. Set your mind to thinking you are just meeting a new friend; go into it with no expectations, simply have fun and be the real version of yourself. Don’t even think of it as a date, just an experience meeting someone new.

“I will make better choices.” Being a smart dater will help you cut through the wrong ones to get to the right one faster. This entails knowing what you’re looking for in a partner and avoiding people who don’t meet those needs. It’s not always picture-perfect, but there are certain things that can be identified as major deal breakers. Know what they are. If someone is exhibiting these deal-breaking behaviors or there are signs that scream “not ready for a relationship or not that interested,” keep it moving. Stop investing your precious time into people who are not ready or right for you.

“I will believe.” Mindset, mindset, mindset. I cannot say it enough … mindset! It all starts with your thoughts. Whether you are an idealist, a realist, an optimist or a pessimist, there is no escaping the power of your mind. If you don’t believe there is hope, you will create that exact experience for yourself. If you are enthusiastic about meeting new people, believe there is someone out there who is perfect for you and remain a positive, happy person knowing that it’s only a matter of time before you meet your one and only, that is exactly what will happen. If you go into new experiences expecting them to fail, they will. Allow your thoughts to help bring you closer to what’s meant to be.

Believe in yourself, believe in the process and enjoy the journey. Now go get ’em!