Curse of the City

By | 2013-02-14T13:52:33-05:00 February 14th, 2013|Categories: Blog|Comments Off on Curse of the City

New York City is the highest ranked place for single women and the “world’s best city for men.”

Several studies concur that there are six women to every one man in New York. That is the same ratio as our last recession. Thankfully the economy gets better and more jobs become available over time, but the seemingly everlasting draught of good, commitment minded men in this city, however, seems to remain the same. With so many people, so many options, you would think it was easy to find someone great…someone to spend a lifetime with. But it appears to be the opposite in the big apple. Many women living here with expectations of finding love, often become discouraged as more time passes and they find themselves in the same, single place.

Everyone settles for something, as no person is perfect. There will always be flaws that bother us about the people we date and being granted the liberty of selecting our own mate in this day and age has allowed us to decide what we will and won’t settle for. The question is; has having too much choice become more of a hindrance, or hardship than an advantage for women in New York?

How often do we say, he or she is so great I just wish I was more attracted to them, or if only they were a little younger, or a little taller…everyone has their own list of deal breakers and grievances. Both men and women can relate to this struggle. Women however, tend to be more flexible than men.

We ladies come to really appreciate a good catch when it comes our way, “I can just change the way he dresses, no big deal. I’ll take him shopping.” “Maybe he can wear inserts in his shoes to appear taller?” Women are willing to work out the kinks. New York City men, on the other hand, have a different approach to dating. They are like kids in a candy store, with so much to choose from, they never want to miss out on the next best thing. Becoming overly consumed with what else is out there, they rarely get a chance to realize that the very thing they are looking for might actually be staring them right in the face.

Most of us are picky, both men and women. When you live in a city like New York especially, freedom is valued, but at some point, most people realize that being single gets lonely and the choice to swap out a single lifestyle for one of companionship is made. The problem is that too often, men don’t come to this epiphany until a much older age in life, and then they look for much younger women to share their new desires with; leaving many very eligible bachelorettes at a huge disadvantage.

Living in NYC can be the best, most entertaining and exhilarating experience, but also the most tiresome, lonely and draining when it comes to matters of the heart. Never a dull moment, even after a bad date, we still look forward to the stories we get to tell. But the adventures quickly grow old and tedious for us ladies, and we pray that the “right one” is right around the corner.

Are we too idealistic in believing that what we are looking for is actually out there? Should we have already lost faith? No. Somehow the hearts of the single women in the city march on, as we commit ourselves to the discouraging, yet honorable and determined hunt through the concrete jungle of love.

I sometimes question why we continue to endure this way of life? Are we masochists? Or do we ourselves, deep down inside really enjoy the luxury of choice, freedom and living youthfully and perhaps selfishly, a little too much? Why subject ourselves to constant disappointment while other women are fleeing in exile! Should we leave too? Seek love in the South, maybe the Mid West or somewhere in Suburbia?

Is leaving the city we love to find love the solution? Will there be magical men elsewhere? The kind that welcome commitment with open arms and a red carpet? There is nothing wrong with exploring other options; go to another place, fall in love and bring your beau back with you, or export yourself once you know he’s worth it. Perhaps our prince charming is waiting for us just beyond the New York border, or maybe we should remain optimistic, enjoy our lives and let the right one find us…The choice is yours.